Your customers are not your friends

Professional distance from customers can help you maintain good service, even when someone disappoints you. On a camping trip in the USA in 2011, I reflected on the difference between friendly campsites and places full of prohibition signs.

Professional distance from customers at a campsite

Some places were clean, tidy and pleasant to visit. Others greeted you with signs listing everything you weren’t allowed to do and a tone I found bitter.

I imagined some owners had seen their guests as fellow camping friends. Then it could feel like a personal betrayal if someone took the toilet paper or didn’t tidy up.

That was my interpretation of what I experienced, not something I’d investigated with each individual owner.

Good customers feel your irritation too

If one guest behaves badly, you might feel like putting up another sign. But then everyone else faces that distrust too.

My thought was to see some of the small losses and extra cleaning as part of running the business. Customers are paying for a holiday and a good experience.

That doesn’t mean accepting every request. It means handling a problem professionally without letting bitterness take over the whole place.

I applied the idea to Amino too

When a user was unhappy or posted spam, I could get irritated. But Amino was a business and a forum I wanted to make useful for users. I couldn’t expect everyone to treat me with the consideration of a friend.

I appreciated the customers and wanted to provide good service. My point was to stay professional so that criticism or bad behaviour from a few people didn’t spoil the experience for everyone else.

Also read about generosity in customer service.

Professional distance from customers: A thought from a camping holiday

We’ve left Yosemite on our family holiday and are heading towards Lake Tahoe. We’ve stopped by a large reservoir. There’s snow in the landscape, we’re more than three kilometres above sea level, and I also spot a little rabbit. It’s bloody beautiful.

We’re travelling in a motorhome from Cruise America. But the holiday isn’t the only thing I want to talk about. I’ve had a thought that might help you with your business.

We’ve stayed at quite a few campsites. At some, you can feel people making an effort. There are little plants, the bathrooms get cleaned and things work.

Other places are full of prohibition signs. Children and teenagers must be in bed before ten. Clean up the bathroom; your mother doesn’t work here. Several times, I’ve encountered a tone that seemed a little bitter and grumpy. Often from somewhat older people running the site.

When you feel you’re among friends, betrayal becomes personal

I think part of what goes wrong is that the owners are campers themselves. They feel they’re among kindred spirits. Now we’ve created something nice for everyone else who loves the same things we do.

My guess is that the vast majority of guests are nice and pleasant. I say ninety percent in the video. But there are also some who make noise, drink and annoy the others. Or take toilet paper, furniture, gas bottles and God knows what.

If you’ve seen customers as friends, it can feel like a personal betrayal. You’ve put out potted plants and provided fresh toilet paper. By the end of the day, the toilet rolls are gone and the plant may have moved into a caravan’s bathroom.

Then you become bitter. And then you start putting up more prohibition signs.

It reminds me of being a child at the swimming pool. The lifeguard runs around telling you not to run, not to jump, and that your mother doesn’t work here. It’s bloody unpleasant going somewhere you’re constantly reminded of all that.

The more of that atmosphere you create, the further you move away from the customers who actually want a good experience.

Toilet rolls and cleaning are part of the business too

Of course you should smile and provide good customer service. But customers are customers. You need professional distance.

When some arsehole takes the toilet rolls, you can sit down and say: That cost me thirty kroner. Bloody annoying. But I’ll still make sure there’s always toilet paper for my guests.

I put out fresh plants even if someone steals them. I top up the toilet paper. I make sure someone goes out and cleans the bathrooms three or four times a day.

People are on holiday. They’re customers, and they don’t bloody want to go around tidying up as if they were at my house. They’ve paid to be there.

Of course extra cleaning, more toilet rolls and new potted plants cost money. But my thought is that it can pay for itself many times over because the place is always clean, tidy and in good order. Guests have a good experience and talk about it on Yelp, TripAdvisor and the other places where they leave reviews.

Then I don’t feel as though my best friend has screwed me over when something disappears. I think: Okay, that was one of the difficult customers who exist too. It’s business, for God’s sake.

What matters is that everyone else finds a pleasant place with fresh toilet paper. I think that campsite attracts more customers than the neighbouring one where a sour owner sits snapping at people. And I’ve actually experienced that kind of snapping several times on the trip.

At Amino, I also need to think like the professional

The same applies to Amino. If I felt all the users were my friends, I’d be bloody furious when someone spammed, shouted and screamed or spoke badly about me.

I’m incredibly fond of the people who use Amino. I love you as customers. I try to create the best possible forum and make it run as smoothly as possible. But I can’t expect everyone to treat me with the consideration of a friend.

On this holiday, Amino is running a little slower than usual. Some people get extremely irritated that posting takes ten seconds when it should take two.

I might feel like saying: Bloody hell, man. You know I’m on holiday. Relax a little and let me get home so I can look at it.

When people shout like that, I have to tackle the problem. I spend four or five hours of the holiday getting people in Manila and others to look at it. I follow up throughout the day and check email many times to see how it’s going.

But I take it calmly. My customers back in Denmark are irritated about something that isn’t working properly. Then I have to get people working on it and follow up. They aren’t obliged to wait because I’m on holiday.

Don’t let disappointment dictate your service

Remember that in your own business, for God’s sake. Your customers are your customers. They’re the ones paying your costs. They’re the ones who’ll pay for the Ferrari you might dream of one day.

Don’t get angry and irritated because they disappoint you as friends. Stay professional and give them a good experience. Also read Min vej som leder about my experiences with people, leadership and service.

At the end, I show the lovely surroundings again. Take care.

Best wishes, Martin