Yes, people bloody well are different

In my view, contributing to a community earns you more room when you slip up one day. In December 2010, I talk about Amino and why I think people are, of course, treated differently.

Contributing to a community earns you more leeway

First, thanks for the lovely T-shirt, which I show as part of my little free-T-shirts concept on Thorborgs Talkshow.

On Amino, I sometimes get complaints from users who think it’s outrageous that a particular person gets more leeway than others. Can that really be right? Shouldn’t everyone be equal?

My answer is very blunt: Yes, it bloody well can. I also judge people by what they’ve contributed and what I know about them.

Mikkel deMib is my example

I use Mikkel deMib as an example. I’d known him for many years and felt his heart was in the right place. He had a fiery temper and a hell of a lot of knowledge.

He was an expensive consultant because he was good and could charge a lot to help others. Even so, he spent time on Amino almost every day helping entrepreneurs with search engine optimisation.

Sometimes he was in a bad mood and said one thing too many, or two, or ten. You might think: Bloody hell, Mikkel, perhaps you’re pushing it a bit now.

But I also looked at everything else. I liked him, he’d helped me with lots of things, and he helped tons of entrepreneurs. So he actually got more leeway than the average user. I thought that was fair.

A new user hasn’t shown who they are yet

A new user I don’t know hasn’t yet given value to the community or helped others. If they start by provoking everyone left and right, I start from a different position.

In a forum, you gradually gain experience of what works and what doesn’t. I describe new users coming in and shouting against a consensus or claiming something we consider obviously wrong.

I use completely absurd images of a flat Earth and air made of diamonds to underline the point. Then my message may be: Either shut the fuck up and be helpful, or move on.

That’s my very blunt description of moderation back then. People who deliver value and prove useful and helpful get more leeway.

My comparison with a regular at a nightclub

I compare it to someone who visits the same nightclub every Friday, buys things, is cheerful and normally behaves well.

If he has a bad evening, gets drunk and slaps someone, I imagine a bouncer taking him aside and saying: Time to go home, Thomas. See you next Friday.

If someone completely new arrives for the first time and starts shouting, screaming and hitting people, I describe a much harsher response from the bouncers. It’s a harsh image I use to show the difference between a familiar regular and a stranger, not an instruction to use violence.

What I’m getting at is that a long history of good behaviour affects how people judge one bad episode.

Three gift cards at the office in Florida

At the time, we were in a serviced office in Florida where everything was rented. I’d just given three 25-dollar gift cards to the office manager and the two women at reception.

It wasn’t anything big. We generally tried to be nice, look after our things and be part of the community. The little Christmas gift was part of that relationship.

When my colleague went in and asked for a new office chair because the old ones weren’t very good, she got a new Aeron chair. I mention a normal price of 1,200 dollars in the video. That’s my story and price example from 2010.

I connect the good treatment with the relationship and say that a well-oiled machine runs well. I don’t establish that the gift cards alone caused her to get the chair, but the story illustrates what I experienced.

Be helpful before asking for more room

Yes, in my opinion, people are treated differently, on Amino, in private life and in business. Whether you like it or not.

If you want something from other people, show that you have value and be kind and pleasant to them. That applies whether you’re a customer, supplier, son or mother.

I believe you can get away with more once you’ve already shown yourself to be a valuable person. That can be useful one day when you mess up or need help. That’s the view of relationships and community I end with. I also discuss my experiences of people and responsibility in leadership in Min vej som leder.