How do you network most effectively? (1 of 2)

I’ve now made half an hour about how I network and what I get out of it. Here I talk about a good network and what I do myself. I’ve split it into two parts because YouTube can’t handle more than 15 minutes. So you’ll get the first part today and probably the second tomorrow. Have a fantastic day.

For me, a good network starts with people I want to help and who will also do me a favour. We can benefit each other, so one plus one adds up to more than two. In this first part, I talk about my experiences of networks and how I choose and use them. The video is from 18 November 2010.

You can find a good network in many places

I’ve been networking for many years. I was a member of a Round Table club and had a really good experience. At the time of the video, I’m also a member of a VL group I don’t see much because I live in the US. But I’d like to participate more when I come home.

I’ve also done quite a bit of charity work. I mention the presidium of WWF Denmark, the Danish Red Cross’s Club 10, where I helped raise money, the advisory board of SOS Børnebyerne and helping UNICEF. I’ve also taken part in the ECCO Walkathon for several years.

I’ve served on committees under successive governments dealing with media, the internet and other things, and on boards and advisory boards. Then there are friends, colleagues and online networks such as Amino, where I’m very active.

Many of those commitments have been unpaid. Some were simply causes close to my heart, where I said yes because I wanted to help. Funnily enough, I’ve also got a lot out of them myself.

Work out where you want to go in life

My strategy for choosing networks is connected with personal branding: What do I want from my life? What goals do I have personally and for my business?

It’s a big process, but there are lots of reasons to go through it. One is simply to have a better life. You won’t reach a particular destination if you don’t know where you want to go.

Perhaps take a few days and go for a long walk. What excites you? What makes you happy? Find your true values, and try filling everyday life with more of what brings you joy and less of what bores or saddens you. Also read Skab din egen succes about finding your own way and creating a life you’re happy with.

Once you know where you want to go, you can find networks that help you get closer. That might be through skills and contacts, but it can also be on a purely human level.

Eight years in Round Table and the need to move on

I was in Round Table for around eight years and absolutely loved it. When I started, there were some formidable people who were really good at what they did. They still are, but you also develop as a person yourself.

At some point, perhaps you become one of the people with something to offer, and then spend a few years helping newcomers move up. That’s a good part of the network.

But later, perhaps you don’t feel you’re learning much more in the group. It gets too comfortable. You skip a meeting, relax or think about other things instead of listening.

Once you’ve also helped others and feel you’ve done your part, it’s important to move on. If the network is just business as usual and you can’t develop it, you need to find somewhere new that challenges you.

In VL5, I still think: What am I doing here?

A good friend recommended me for VL5. In the video, I describe VL as around 2,000 leading people from business and politics, plus a few oddballs like me who’ve shown they can do something. That’s my description at the time.

It’s not easy to get in, and I’m not saying it’s necessarily what you should aim for. But for me, they were the right people: Around 40 leading figures, politicians, members of parliament, executives and other interesting people.

Four or five years after joining, I can still sit there thinking: I wonder if one day they’ll discover it’s only me sitting here?

I think that’s healthy in a network. You feel humble and find that others are more capable. If you’re never around people more capable than yourself, you won’t improve either.

Strong opponents raise your own level too

I use Wozniacki as a comparison. If she always played against weaker players, she wouldn’t develop in the same way. She needs to play some of the world’s best to set the bar high.

Flemming Østergaard, Don Ø, once told me he thought he was keeping Brøndby alive by giving them a disproportionately large amount in a distribution of advertising or TV revenue. I didn’t quite understand the mechanism and also say I don’t know whether it’s true.

But the idea in the story was interesting: A strong opponent in Denmark could make his own team better internationally. That’s the thought I carry over into networking.

I want to keep setting the bar high and being inspired. Sometimes I sit in the VL group thinking: Bloody hell, what am I doing here? What incredible people.

The top executives had more to offer as people than I expected

If you don’t know top executives yourself, you might get the impression of arrogant idiots when you read about them in the newspaper. My experience has been that many have an enormous amount to offer as people.

It’s not just their ability to calculate and allocate budgets that impresses me. I meet well-rounded people, family people with their lives in order, humanity, wit and broad shoulders. Many are largely selfless.

Of course, they’re also competitive people who want to win. But compared with my experiences among younger business leaders in Round Table, where there could be more sharp elbows and look-at-my-new-BMW about it, I find people in VL more comfortable in themselves.

Those are my experiences of the groups I’ve been in. Finding somewhere with so much to offer on a human level has meant a lot to me.

Show up so people actually get to know you

When you join a network, you need to turn up regularly. If you rarely come, people won’t put much energy into you, and you won’t get to know the others either.

You want to come naturally to mind when something relevant arises. That can lead to business, good advice and other things.

I haven’t used my VL group a great deal as a sounding board, but I have used it for something that was very important to me. When I created Amino Virksomhedsbørs, I had various business models that I discussed with the group by email.

There were people who’d spent their lives buying and selling businesses, and others who’d sold five or six companies themselves. Being able to test the ideas against their knowledge was completely unique. I couldn’t have gained that knowledge in the same way elsewhere.

Use people for what they’re good at

Why did they bother helping? Partly because you’re in the same group and normally help each other with reasonable, legal things. But I’ve also always been a helpful person.

That doesn’t mean I want to come and help you move house. I’ve done that a few times, but I’m more the type who says: Here’s 1,000 kroner for a removal company.

It would be silly to write to my VL group asking them to help me move. Some would probably turn up, but it would be a poor use of the group’s resources.

At AminoTastic, I sat beside a man who asked me a favour. I’d driven there, and he wanted me to drive him home so he could save the bus fare.

That annoyed me. There were around 350 other people he might have asked. I was there as a speaker and had knowledge that could help his business. Instead, he wanted to use me to save about 25 kroner on a bus ticket.

Have an overview of who’s good at what. Use people for what they’re good at, enjoy doing and feel proud to be asked about.

If someone says: Martin, it seems you could help me develop my company. Here’s my challenge; would you take a quick look? Then I feel proud and am happy to spend ten minutes helping for free.

A fancy business card can’t replace what you bring

But the first question should actually be: How can I help my network?

If your measure of success at a networking event is handing out all 200 of your business cards, you’re wrong. I joke that you could find 198 in the bin the next day, and the last two might have been used to prop a door open.

A business card has no value in itself. Wood, rounded corners, embossing and gold leaf can be fun, but what matters is the person behind the card. If you have nothing to offer, the packaging won’t help.

It’s like a computer game with the world’s coolest intro and a bad game behind it. In the video, I’m briefly interrupted by a police officer stopping another car, but return to the point: Chess has lasted because the game itself is good, not because the intro or graphics are fantastic.

That’s how you should see yourself too. The clothes and business card can’t carry it alone. If you don’t have deep knowledge in a particular area, perhaps you can help by connecting other people. That’s exactly what I spend much of my networking time doing.

Also read part two on staying in touch and connecting people.

Best wishes, Martin