Just move, then!
Moving abroad doesn’t have to mean losing touch with friends, family and work. After just over two years in Florida, I’ve discovered I feel far less distant from Denmark than I imagined before we left.
I’ve just returned from a good and very busy trip to Denmark here in September 2010. Two days at the entrepreneur fair, talking to entrepreneurs for seven hours a day, interrupted only by toilet visits and my talks. I ate my sandwich standing up.
There was also time for some lovely days on Bornholm. When the sun shines there, I can hardly imagine a better place on earth. Then there were board meetings and work on SPAMfighter and Amino. A really worthwhile trip.
We moved for the weather and to try something new
We left Denmark because I thought the weather was a little dull and because we wanted to try something new. It wasn’t because of tax. My businesses are still in Denmark, and gaining a tax advantage was never the plan.
Before we left, I thought running a Danish business from abroad would probably be difficult. We’d miss our parents and friends. We’d be in a foreign culture, longing for the good things back home, perhaps the food too.
Those were the stories I’d heard from others who’d moved away. But something I’ve realised is how much communication options have changed the experience.
You can keep up with Denmark from Delray Beach
Here in 2010, you still get texts from friends. You see their Facebook updates with pictures and little stories. So you actually know quite a lot about what friends and family are doing.
I can read Jyllands-Posten, Berlingske, Politiken and Børsen online, just as usual. I can follow politics and news just as quickly from Delray Beach as from Holte.
The online newspaper isn’t updated any more slowly because I’m sitting in Florida. Something happens, and I can read about it immediately. That way, I’m still part of what I followed back home.
So yes, I don’t see friends and family as often in everyday life. But something else happens when people visit.
A week together is different from a dinner for two couples
If you live somewhere nice, friends come over. Instead of one evening having dinner as two couples, perhaps we get a week or a fortnight together.
We barbecue, drink a little white wine and drive out to see things. We’re together in a completely different way. The same applies when family visits.
I actually think we spend as many hours with friends and family as before. The time is simply more concentrated. That’s my experience of our life, not a measurement of how it is for everyone who moves.
Day to day, we can use Facebook and Skype, with video too if we want. We used video calls more at first, but discovered neither the children nor we really feel like it that much.
It was nice at first, then we cut back. Now it’s the occasional phone call and otherwise visits when we come to Denmark or people come here. But being able to follow each other’s lives on social networks matters.
Home is where my family and laptop are
The strange thing is that I don’t feel far from Denmark when I’m here. Neither emotionally nor in the way I’d imagined distance.
And when I’m in Denmark, I don’t feel far from the US and the friends we’ve made here either.
I thought my feelings were tied to a particular house and geography. Now I’ve discovered my home is wherever my wife, my two children and my laptop are.
The laptop is the connection to friends, family, business and news. All those things that are part of your life too. That connection comes with you.
Some years ago, calling people far away cost a lot, and Facebook didn’t exist. Further back, you had to send letters and wait ages for replies. Of course, the distance felt greater then.
You don’t have to sit missing smørrebrød
Perhaps you’ve heard the stories about pensioners in Spain who left because of taxes and then sat missing piled-high Danish open sandwiches.
My experience in the US is that I can get almost all the Danish foods I miss in Whole Foods and other shops. You have to bring remoulade or live without it. But the idea that you necessarily have to give up everything familiar doesn’t fit our everyday life.
That’s why I think you should reassess your life a little. Is it necessary to live in that exact house? Is it necessary for the children to attend that exact school? Also read Skab din egen succes on finding your own way and daring to follow it.
We’ve uprooted our children and put them in a new school, and they’ve never had more fun. I wouldn’t be afraid to move them back to Denmark either.
I think loving, good parents matter a great deal. Loving your children, being kind to them and kissing their cheeks. In our family, changing schools hasn’t been the disaster you might fear.
Moving abroad gives you a new perspective
Living in another culture also gives me a different view of Denmark. That doesn’t mean I sit here thinking Denmark is ridiculous, small or stupid. Denmark has an incredible number of qualities.
But I see other ways of doing things. The US runs the country very differently. There are things here I find incredibly stupid and degrading. And there are really good things that are interesting to experience too.
I think experiencing something new makes you grow as a person. You see your own life in a different light.
It doesn’t even have to be another country. If you live in Aarhus, you can try Copenhagen. Or the other way around. You can move to Malmö or choose an entirely different country. The point is to get out and experience something else.
Can you organise your work to make it possible?
If you dream of it but worry about the house, everyday life, friends and work, I’d say: My experience is that it can be done.
Perhaps I’m spoiled because, as an entrepreneur, I can plan many things myself. But it’s also a question of how you plan your life.
If you have a regular job, you could explore being posted abroad. Or perhaps you want to become self-employed and gain more control yourself. There’s no single solution for everyone, but it’s worth considering.
I actually find I can run the business from abroad with Skype and the other options we have. I go to Denmark five or six times a year, typically for just over a week, and talk to people. I keep showing up, giving talks and attending my boards.
At this point, I say a return ticket costs around 4,000 kroner and I can be in Denmark about 12 hours after boarding the plane in Miami.
The time difference is six hours. If I get up at six, it’s noon in Denmark, so there are still four or five hours with colleagues. They can also answer an email in the evening and be flexible at another time.
I find the opportunities to get out into the world easier than before. That’s my experience from here, not a review of residence or work regulations.
So if you dream of moving, consider it. Leave the nest, bring the family, learn some language and have a big experience. Perhaps you’ll grow closer. And if you return home one day, you’ll certainly have gained some experience.
Welcome to new viewers
I’ve gained lots of new viewers from Jyllands-Posten’s EPN, which posts my videos. If you’ve only just started watching, there are around 150 videos on Thorborg TV at this point.
Otherwise, it can feel like joining a TV series halfway through: Who the hell is this guy sitting in his car in Florida waffling? A bit like coming into Frasier halfway through without knowing him and his father in the big chair. But you’ll probably get to know me along the way.
I’m back in the US after a lovely trip to Denmark. It got me thinking about how exciting it is to try living in another country and how easy it has actually become. Sorry I look a little tired; I still have jet lag 🙂 And welcome to the new EPN viewers. EPN posts one of my videos each week, and the first has been viewed just over 7,000 times, which is great. The subsequent comments are pretty harsh, though, but that’s how it goes 🙂 Best wishes, Martin
haha, gamle sure mænd på EPN.dk 🙂 Godt du er kommet derover og ruske lidt op i dem 🙂
Keep on going!