Grease the wheels and things run smoothly...
If you want help from others, think about how you ask for it. A compliment, a little interest and a proper conversation can make a world of difference. I have just received two emails that show very clearly why I feel more inclined to help one sender than the other.
In this video from 8 March 2010, I am waiting for my car to be washed. It takes around ten minutes, so I have had time to look through my inbox. That prompted me to discuss the principle: grease the wheels and things run smoothly.
Do you want help, or do you only want to talk about yourself?
A couple of days ago, I received an email from a guy with a business. He said it was difficult, things were tough and he needed a good PR idea. He had heard I was good at that sort of thing and wanted input so he could write a great press release.
I get a lot of emails like that. If I have plenty of time, I might help with a quick idea. But if I am busy, I refer people to Amino, where they can ask their questions. I cannot help the whole world.
That was the kind of reply he received too. I did not have time to get to grips with his problem right then.
The next email made me want to reply
Then another email arrived this morning. The sender began by telling me how much he enjoyed my talk shows. He sat with his morning coffee listening and felt they inspired him in his business. He also said he liked Amino and that things had started going well for him.
That is bloody lovely to hear. I felt happy, proud and in a good mood because what I do had actually helped another person.
Only then did he come to his question. He knew I came up with marketing and PR ideas and would be really grateful if I had ten seconds for a crazy idea or an angle for a press release about his business. I think I will answer that email.
Can you see the difference? The first was about "me, me, me". I have a business, I have a problem, and will you spend your time helping me make more money for free? The second began by giving me something: praise and specific feedback about what my work meant to him.
When someone has been kind and made me happy, I also feel more inclined to give a little back. My reaction is not determined only by the content of the question. It is also about how the connection is made.
Use a compliment when you want help
The same can happen when talking to a hotel and wanting a different room or an upgrade. Instead of immediately starting with "I would like", you can begin by saying what you like about the hotel.
You can say it is a lovely hotel and that you have enjoyed staying there. Chat a little with the person about the place. Spend a minute or a minute and a half creating a pleasant conversation before explaining what could make the experience even better for you.
I find it can make a big difference whether you simply turn up and demand an upgrade or first show interest and appreciation. You make the person want to help rather than just putting a demand on the table.
Connect before getting to the point
When you want something that others can easily refuse, think about how to make the conversation pleasant. Can you offer a compliment, chat a little or ask about something? If you have the opportunity, do not focus solely on your own wish from the first second.
It is not always possible, and it does not mean you will get a yes every time. But my experience is that your chances improve considerably when you need to sell something, ask for an upgrade or get someone to help you for free.
So grease the wheels and things run smoothly. I nearly get the words the wrong way round at the end of the video. I am still drinking my coffee and am not quite awake. But the point is the same: do something for the other person before asking them to do something for you.
Best, Martin
Location:N Federal Hwy,Boca Raton,USA
Fantastisk indslag!
Da du startede med video-blog fra din iPhone, spurte du efter tips og triks.
Jeg har lige købt denne iPhone tripod hos Joby.
Og check så lige deres website, lige efter bogen.
Jeg startede med at downloade deres gratis APP Gorillacam, som bliver 1000 gange bedre ved køb af deres tripod. SÅDAN skal det gøre. Link til Joby http://joby.com/gorillamobile/3g/
Link til en lille timelap video jeg har lavet med Gorillacam og tripod fra Joby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_ikOjamQkQ